Monday, September 1, 2008

The Wisdom Tooth, by Augusten Burroughs

This was the single worst chapter of any book I've ever read.

I listened to this chapter from his book as a free download from iTunes, and re-learned that just because something's price is low (or zero) doesn't mean that the cost is the same.

Burroughs' book about his childhood, Running with Scissors, was an interesting/shocking look at the traumatic life of a kid who grew up living with his mother's crazy psychiatrist. The Wisdom Tooth, however, was beyond awful.

It is one thing to have a terrible childhood but at some point you need to grow up. Burroughs seems to have become a professional victim who loves to whine about everything from getting up early to needing pills constantly.

This piece was overflowing with petty complaints and annoying stereotypes. So he and his boyfriend go away for a weekend to a B&B. Burroughs can't do any of the planning because he is disorganized. And the dolls creep him out and his boyfriend apologies needlessly and Burroughs adores him. Why do I care?

When burroughs breaks his tooth on some food at a restaurant he goes off about how excited he is because he thinks that he is going to get a huge legal settlement, and how this time he won't blow his chance to get one like he did when he didn't sue when he got hit by a falling piece of wood in NYC. That's not something anyone should brag about. It is something he should be embarassed by. If everyone was like Burroughs as he describes, our society would come to a screeching, whining halt.